Writelike Jane Austen: Mr Darcy at the dance

The group consensus

Here's the second last fragment:

His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and everyone hoped that he would never come there again.

Pride and Prejudice(1813)

His character was decided

Again, we see that part of the Austen voice is a way of using verbs and tense to create detachment. This time it's passive voice to create the sense of a group judgment that emerged by itself:

  • They decided on his character, vs
  • His character was decided

Where can you use passive voice in your version?

He was the most disagreeable man

Using 'most' as an intensifier for a multi-syllable noun is part of an upper middle-class English voice.

Where can you use 'most' as an intensifier?

Let's revise our knitting example. Notice that we already used 'most' in the first draft:

The girls agreed. She was the rudest, most selfish lady they had ever met at the community centre, and something would have to be done to force her out.

Her suitability was denied. She was the rudest, most selfish woman they had ever met at the community centre, and all agreed they would need to orchestrate her departure.

Notice how we also revised the last clause to create a more Austenian voice.

Here's the assassin example. This time, we already had passive tense in the first clause, so we've tried to make it more heightened in the revision:

A consensus was formed. Clem was a moron who was likely to get them all killed, and the crew agreed it would be better if he met that fate first.

His fate was sealed. Clem was a moron who was most likely to get them killed, and the crew resolved that it would be better if he met that end first.

Notice we changed some of the vocabulary to make it sound a little more elevated.

  • See where you can use passive voice.
  • See where you can use 'most' as an intensifier.
Revise your original variation to capture a more Austen-like voice.
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