Comparison 2

Last chunk, and you should be getting the idea now—intensify word choices and compress the phrasing!

Satan had his companions, fellow devils, to admire and encourage him, but I am solitary and abhorred."

Contrasting pairs: 'Admire & encourage' vs 'Solitary & abhorred'

This snippet is tightly structured to compare two contrasting pairs of words: the verbs admire and encourage vs the adjectives solitary and abhorred.

If you have a similar structure, then you might be able to use this kind of contrast. Otherwise just look for ways to intensify your word choices.

Using a fragment: Fellow devils

This fragment intensifies the point of comparison.

Let's see what we can do with our bedroom-cleaning example:

In prison the guards have to give you notice when they’re going to come in and inspect your room, but you turn my room upside down whenever you want."

In jail, the guards, your prison parents, must treat their wards with courtesy and respect, but you are tactless and ill-mannered."

You'll notice we rewrote the middle to get a contrasting pair, but we didn't go as far as turning the first pair into verbs.

Let's try our alien-abduction example:

When you swat a rando on the internet, at least their door gets kicked in by humans, but I’m getting probed by a bunch of four-fingered blob monsters."

Ordinary swatting victims, randoms on the internet, have their doors kicked in by humans, but I’m to be probed by quad-digit blob monsters."

We didn't do as much vocab work on this one, but we did compress the phrasing in some unhighlighted sections.

Revise your original variation to create a more gothic voice.

Writelike Mary Shelley: Frankenstein's monster's lament