Comparison 1

The second chunk uses similar techniques:

God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more horrid even from the very resemblance.

Frankenstein(1818)

Intensifying description: God, in pity

This is a distinctive bit of old-fashioned phrasing which intensifies by inserting a describer. Can you use the same idea?

(If you look closely, you'll notice this is an adverbial phrase. If your opening clause uses passive voice, then this phrase might have a big impact!)

Intense word choices: Beautiful! Alluring! Filthy! Horrid!

Again, smash that Thesaurus button, but be selective—some word choices are better than others.

Intensifying grammar: More horrid even from the very resemblance

Another bit of archaic phrasing. As with 'even you' in the previous sentence, this phrasing pushes the comparison to an extreme.

Compressed phrasing: More horrid even from the very resemblance

In contemporary speech, we'd say something like, "made more horrid by the fact the resemblance is so close", using more words, none of which land anywhere for emphasis.

The way Shelley uses 'the very' compresses all that down to just a couple of words, with the most important word landing at the end, raising the intensity.

Let's see how we can apply these ideas to our bedroom-cleaning example:

Diamond’s room is just a pile of clothes and food, with literal rats in it; but my room is now like this weird clinical fantasy of yours, and all my stuff is gone.

Diamond, in sloth, leaves her room heaped with rags and crumbs, a playground for vermin; but my room you’ve made your clinical ideal, more cruel even from its very sterility.

You can see that one's quite a radical rewrite. It describes the same content, but word for word it's almost all completely new.

One reason why it's changed so much is we really got into intensifying the word choices, and we didn't stop at the adjectives—we also punched up some of the nouns.

You'll also notice that adding "in sloth" meant the opening clause had to change from passive to active voice, which caused ripple effects through the sentence.

And here's our alien-abduction example:

You’re all sitting in your gaming chairs safe at home, with sweet lighting and surround sound; but I’m in a gelatinous pod somewhere past the Oort Cloud.

You, in safety, sit in gaming chairs plush and padded, with mellifluous light and sound; but I squirm in this gelatinous pod, beyond the very edge of the Oort Cloud.

This rewrite isn't so radical as the first one, and once again we couldn't use all of the ideas (we couldn't find a way to incorporate 'even from').

But it definitely sounds more gothic!

In pity: Add an adverbial descriptor to your point of comparison.
Intense words: Have fun with that thesaurus.
Even from: Push the comparison to the extreme.
The very resemblance: Cut and rearrange words for compression and impact.

Revise your original variation to create a more gothic voice.

Writelike Mary Shelley: Frankenstein's monster's lament