Emotion 2: Representing character emotion

Expressing emotion through thoughts and behaviour

So far we've seen snippets that either label emotions or describe the physical feelings driving those emotions. 

But it's also possible to represent emotion purely through behaviour, whether internal (mental thoughts) or external (physical action). 

In the snippet below, three-year old Gerald has just set fire to his house while playing with a lighter in exactly the way his mother told him not to.

Sharon M. Draper doesn't label his emotions or describe his feelings. But can you tell what he's feeling anyway?

He curled up in his usual position then, thumb in his mouth, crying softly. He thought about his mama and how pretty she was. He wondered if G.I. Joe would ever find his way back. And he wondered how he could see so many colors with his eyes closed.

Forged by Fire(1997)
How do you think Gerald is feeling?

How is Gerald feeling?

You can probably tell he's feeling some combination of frightened, sad, and guilty.

How do we know?

We can infer his feelings from his behaviour: curled up, thumb in mouth, crying. 

And we learn more from his thoughts—the way he is thinking nostalgically about his mother, about his toy, and the way he is thinking about the flood of colors (fire) with his eyes closed.

What's the emotional loop?

  • Trigger: not shown here, but setting the curtains on fire while playing with G.I. Joe.
  • Feeling: not described.
  • Thoughts: his mama and how pretty she was, if G.I. Joe would ever find his way back, how he can see so many colors.
  • Emotion: not labelled, but we know it's fear, sadness, guilt.
  • Behaviour: curl up, suck thumb, cry.

Let's do an experiment

Take the last variations we wrote, which were about struggling to describe a range of emotions.

Let's revise the variations twice, once using only physical behaviour, and then using both behaviour and thoughts, so we can see which version helps us infer emotion more easily.

Here is our first example from the previous exercise but we've cut it down to only physical behaviour and any triggers that were already in the example:

Thaddeus tossed fish high into the air. The sun was shining and Henry was yapping. Thaddeus skipped along the boardwalk and flapped his tiny black wings.

Now let's try adding thoughts:

Thaddeus tossed fish high into the air, where it was snapped up by hungry gulls. He thought this must be what it’s like to have a perfect day. The sun was shining, Henry was yapping, and Thaddeus skipped along the boardwalk and flapped his tiny black wings, imagining he could fly.

Which version gives you a stronger sense of how the character is feeling?

Let's look at the second example, with behaviour only, then behaviour + thoughts:

He swung the spear in an arc towards her waist. She skipped in the same direction and then suddenly cartwheeled over it, drawing her sword as she landed. He was already off balance and his right side was exposed. She ran towards him.

He swung the spear in an arc towards her waist. She skipped in the same direction, getting a feel for his momentum, and then when she sensed the moment was right, she reversed direction and cartwheeled over the shaft. As Carlo spun in the centre of her vision, she wondered if she would kill him or just humiliate him. She drew her sword as she landed. She could see Carlo was already off balance and his right side was exposed. She decided she would snap his spear and then spank him like a child, and then she ran towards him.

Which version gives you a stronger sense of how the character is feeling?

Now you try it. Below is your variation from the previous page. Edit it to remove any emotion labels and feelings, and leave only character behaviour and any external triggers.

Edit your variation so that it only has triggers and behaviours. No emotions or feelings!

Now copy and paste the variation above into the textbox below, and then expand the description to include your character's thoughts.

Edit your variation so that it includes the character's thoughts, as well as triggers and behaviour.

Compare your variations? Do you prefer one over the other? Why or why not?

The main thing to notice from this exercise is that you can convey a character's emotion by describing their behaviour and thoughts without ever saying explicitly what they are feeling.

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