Emotion 2: Representing character emotion

Saying how you feel

How can dialogue express emotion?

One way is characters can literally tell each other how they feel.

How do Silas and Bod feel in the exchange below?

"I’m disappointed in you, Bod," Silas said, and he shook his head. "I’ve been looking for you since I woke. You have the smell of trouble all around you. And you know you’re not allowed to go out here, into the living world."

"I know. I’m sorry." There was rain on the boy’s face, running down like tears.

The Graveyard Book(2010)
How do Silas and Bod feel in this snippet?

The characters do two things in the dialogue:

  • Stating: Silas and Bod state how they feel—disappointed and sorry.
  • Explaining: Silas explains why he feels the way he does, which you might notice he does by describing triggers. 

What's Silas' emotional loop?

  • Trigger: Bod sneaks out and then Silas finds him smelling like trouble.
  • Emotion: Disappointment.
  • Behaviour: Tells Bod he's disappointed and shakes his head.

What's Bod's emotional loop?

  • Trigger: Silas says he's disappointed.
  • Emotion: Sorry.
  • Behaviour: Acknowledges Silas' feelings and apologises. Stands there in the rain.

Notice the rain on Bod's face?

Gaiman reinforces Bod's sadness by adding the detail of the rain on his face—another example of reflecting emotion through a description of the world.

Here are a couple of examples that use the same elements:

"I’m so happy, Henry," said Thaddeus, putting his arm around the corgi. "We’ve fed the seagulls, I’ve quit haberdashery school, we’ve enjoyed this beautiful bay, and I’m going to learn to be a detective!"

"Bork bork!" said Henry, and they warmed themselves in the sun’s setting glow.

"You, Carlo," Mizune said, "disgust me." She waved her sword, still sheathed, at the silent crowd. "You're a mosquito, you gorge on other people's blood, and even worse you spread a poison. I won't give you the satisfaction of my anger, you odious little shrimp. You barely get my contempt."

Carlo spat on the ground. "Glad to hear it. Now shut up and fight."

To write a variation, imagine something in your scene that could trigger a response from a character, and then have at least one character state how they feel.

Write some dialogue, where at least one character states how they feel, and explains why.
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