Emotion 2: Representing character emotion

Struggling to describe the feelings

While we're talking about describing feelings, it's worth noting that sometimes our feelings are so mixed up that it can be hard to describe them at all.

Here's a snippet from Pet in which Jam has a mix of hard-to-describe of emotions:

But Jam was silent as she walked out, because the only thing in her chest was a low kind of bitterness, a sort of feeling trapped and not being heard. They hadn’t cared when she mentioned Redemption, and she’d anticipated that, but it was still a disappointment, to be waved aside so easily. Bitter and Aloe had decided as a unit of two—they could sit with their decision then, just the two of them alone. Jam went up to the studio, feeling close to bursting into tears. She couldn’t tell if it was from fear or sadness or anger or frustration; it was just there, right behind her eyes.

Pet(2019)

The emotional loop

On one level this snippet shows a typical trigger-emotion-behaviour loop like we've seen before:

  • Trigger: Not shown in this snippet, but Jam has had an argument with her parents (about whether or not to banish a vengeful angel currently residing in their art studio—long story)
  • Emotions: Lots of emotions: bitterness, disappointment, sadness, frustration, anger.
  • Feelings: Lots of feelings: like being trapped, low in chest, close to tears, behind eyes.
  • Thoughts: Parents don't care what she thinks, they waved her aside, they would have to sit with their decision.
  • Behaviour: Walk out silently, go up to studio.

Conveying the struggling-to-express quality

But there are two specific elements that give this snippet a mixed-up, struggling-to-express-feelings quality:

  • There are lots of emotions, both labels and feelings: bitterness, disappointment, sadness, frustration, anger, like being trapped, low in chest, close to tears, behind eyes.
  • And what we might call 'approximating phrases': kind of, sort of, couldn't tell if—all of which convey how Jam can't quite pin down what she's experiencing.

Here are a couple of examples that also use lots of emotional labels, descriptions of feelings, and approximating phrases: 

As Thaddeus tossed fish high into the air, he felt a ripple all through his feathers—and it wasn’t the wind. It was a kind of happiness that tingled like static electricity, a buzz that started somewhere in the dome of his head and then ran to the hooks of his toenails. The sun was shining and Henry was yapping and Thaddeus felt like he could jump into the air and fly like a gull, lifted by some combination of pride and joy and contentment and hope, as he skipped along the boardwalk and flapped his tiny black wings.

Mizune couldn’t tell what about Carlo made her feel such a cauldron of emotions: anger and contempt and delight. Maybe it was his shortness or his loudness or the ridiculous way he had his gi open to his bellybutton. How did this little man ever get so much power? He was infuriating. And Mizune was furious at the villagers for listening to him. And somewhere deep inside she was happy to have the chance to put him in his place.

Write your own variation, in which a character struggles to describe their emotions.

Use lots of emotion labels, descriptions of feelings, and approximating phrases to show that the character is a little mixed up right now.

Write your variation, where a character struggles to describe their emotions.
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