Checkpoint piece

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Here's the original snippet:

Once when there were no rivers on the earth, the Jade Dragon was in charge of clouds. She decided when and where the clouds would rain upon the land and when they would stop. She was very proud of her power and of the reverence the people of earth paid her. Jade Dragon had four dragon children: Pearl, Yellow, Long, and Black. They were large and strong and good and kind. They helped Jade Dragon with her work and whenever they flew in the sky she was overwhelmed with love and pride.

However, one day, as Jade Dragon ended the rain and moved the clouds away from the land, she overheard some villagers’ conversation.

"Ah, thank goodness the rain is gone," one man said.

"Yes," another said, "I’m so tired of the rain. I’m glad the clouds are gone and the sun is finally shining."

Those words filled Jade Dragon with anger. Tired of rain! Glad the clouds were gone! Jade Dragon was indignant. How dare the villagers dishonor her that way!

Jade Dragon was so offended that she decided that she would never let it rain again. "The people can enjoy the sun forever," Jade Dragon thought resentfully.

Of course, that meant despair for the people on earth. As the sun beat overhead and the rain never came, drought and famine spread over the land. Animals and trees withered and died and the people begged for rain, but Jade Dragon ignored them.

But their suffering did not go unnoticed by Jade Dragon’s children. They were horrified at the anguish and misery on earth. One by one, they went to their mother and pleaded forgiveness for the humans — but even their words did not soften their mother’s cold heart. "We will never make it rain for the people again," Jade Dragon vowed.

Pearl, Yellow, Long, and Black met in secret.

Where the Mountain Meets the Moon

Here's our example about Mr O'Malley, the angry caretaker:

Once at Park High there was a senior caretaker called Mr O'Malley. He was in charge of keeping the facilities clean and tidy and running smoothly. He was immensely proud of his work and drew great satisfaction from the sparkling floors and fresh-flowing water fountains. Mr O'Malley didn't work alone; he had a team of four junior caretakes: Jules, Jenny, Shawna, and Pat. They were easy-going but diligent about their work. They were devoted to Mr O'Malley and he was grateful for their support in his quest to make Park High the cleanest, nicest, smoothest-running school in the state.

However, one day, when Mr O'Malley was fitting wastes to the exterior drains to prevent rats from entering, he overheard some students through a restroom window.

"This school is so sterile," said one student.

"I know, right," said another. "It's so boring. It's killing my brain. Where's the personality? Where's the life?"

Something in Mr O'Malley snapped. Sterile! Boring! Brain-killing! He felt his world collapse. Was his daily labour worth nothing to them?

Mr O'Malley was so furious that he decided he would let nature run its course. No more cleaning. No more maintenance. "Unstop the gears of time and let loose the forces of entropy!" he declared in a rage.

Within weeks, the school was a mess. Toilets overflowed and carpeted the halls with strange wet lumps which seemed to crawl of their own volition. Rats took over the library and wolves took over the gym. The radiators turned themselves to maximum and ensweltered the classrooms until the paint sloughed from the walls. Staff and students begged for relief, but Mr O'Malley just ate pistachios in his office and left the shells on the floor for the roaches to use as helmets.

This wasn't the safe and productive learning environment the junior caretakers had signed up for. They felt awful. Together they squeezed into Mr O'Malley's office and pleaded for him to let them return to their regular tasks, but it was like knocking on a closed iron door.

"We were the only thing standing between them and the apocalypse," he said. "And that’s the lesson they'll learn."

The junior caretakers met secretly in the supply closet.

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Emotion 1: Emotional cause and effect