Checkpoint: Dracula in the style of Twilight

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Rewrite this snippet from Dracula in the style of Twilight.

  • Cut back on the expansions—get straight to the point.
  • Cut down on the connectors—most of your sentences should be able to stand alone.
  • Make plainer word choices—dark and spooky, but not too intense.
  • More passive verbs, and reduce the intensity of the actions overall.

This time, after going to the far side of the Pass, he suddenly turned down a narrow roadway which ran sharply to the right. Soon we were hemmed in with trees, which in places arched right over the roadway till we passed as through a tunnel. And again great frowning rocks guarded us boldly on either side. Though we were in shelter, we could hear the rising wind, for it moaned and whistled through the rocks, and the branches of the trees crashed together as we swept along. It grew colder and colder still, and fine, powdery snow began to fall, so that soon we and all around us were covered with a white blanket. The keen wind still carried the howling of the dogs, though this grew fainter as we went on our way. The baying of the wolves sounded nearer and nearer, as though they were closing round on us from every side. I grew dreadfully afraid, and the horses shared my fear.

Dracula(1897)
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