Forcing your characters to move on is a good way to get your readers to read on! In an action story like Gone, danger is an exciting way to do this.
What’s happening around our main characters?
From the hallway they heard a rising cacophony of voices. Loud, scared, some babbling, as if it would be okay as long as they didn’t stop talking. Some voices were just wild.
It wasn’t a good sound. It was frightening all by itself, that sound.
The ‘stampede’ hinted at in the earlier passages has started. Sam, Astrid and Quinn aren’t with the group, so they’re safe. But it doesn’t sound like they’ll be safe for long.
Can you find the same pattern in these examples?
Around them they could hear people shuffling, muttering, bumping into things, as if a switch was flipped. Some sounded angry, some scared. Others sounded like they were looting the store, laughing. It sounded crazy, as if half an hour’s darkness was all it took for us to devolve into lawlessness.
From the top of the hill they could see the neighbourhood falling apart. Dinosaurs trampling through houses. Dogs going wild. Cars speeding in the streets. Helicopters overhead. Even from here they could hear people screaming and shouting.
It wasn’t good. It was like the whole world was falling apart.
