We stopped and stared

This snippet explains why the narrator responded in a certain way to an event. Much like the judgment we looked at earlier, this explanation has a qualifier. 

Check it out.

As we came level with the shop we saw a cardboard notice hanging on the door.


We stopped and stared. We had never known the sweetshop to be closed at this time in the morning, even on Sundays.


The phrase ‘even on Sundays’ adds extra emphasis. It sounds like Dahl thought about his explanation, looked for flaws in his argument, and came up empty. It’s almost as if he was waiting for you to argue the point and got in early. As far as he’s concerned, this explanation is airtight.

Let’s write our own version.

The shed door was still locked. Mrs McKenzie had even replaced the old padlock with a shiny new one. Even though she no longer lived there!

We couldn’t believe it. We had never met someone so vindictive and mean, even amongst the roughest bullies at our school.  

After listening to my version of events, Ms Finch nodded thoughtfully and said she’d see what she could do to help.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d never met an adult so willing to listen to my problems and treat them seriously. Even my parents had off days.

Write an action or event. Respond to it, then explain the response. Finally, add a qualifier that shows your explanation is airtight.