Three lessons on emotion in narrative writing:

This week we're launching a new series of lessons that dive into advanced narrative skills.

These lessons go beyond the building blocks of narrative—characters, places, action, dialogue—and explore the more subtle features that make narrative effective.

The first three lessons are about emotion:

  1. Emotional cause and effect
  2. Representing character emotion
  3. Evoking emotion in the reader

Each builds on the one before, but you can treat them as standalone lessons, if you wish. Each takes ~2 hours to complete.

Below are quick previews.

LESSON 1: EMOTIONAL CAUSE AND EFFECT

One challenge in narrative is to write stories with convincing cause and effect, as opposed to a series of seemingly random events.

One solution is to establish a chain of emotion-behaviour loops:

Diagram showing a loop of trigger, feeling, thought, emotion, and behaviour

In this lesson we explore how emotion helps us understand what characters want, and how it makes story events meaningful.

We then use the loop model to analyse sequences from graphic novels such as Grasscutter, Persepolis, Drama, and March.

To conclude the lesson, we write a scene about a character who wreaks havoc on a community that has offended them, using a snippet from Grace Lin's Where the Mountain Meets the Moon as model.

The whole checkpoint is ~350 words, but here is a fragment:

Those words filled Jade Dragon with anger. Tired of rain! Glad the clouds were gone! Jade Dragon was indignant. How dare the villagers dishonor her that way!  Jade Dragon was so offended that she decided that she would never let it rain again. "The people can enjoy the sun forever," Jade Dragon thought resentfully.

This particular fragment shows an emotional response followed by new behaviour. We provide a worked example using the same elements:

Something in Mr O'Malley snapped. Sterile! Boring! Brain-killing! He felt his world collapse. Was his daily labour worth nothing to them?  Mr O'Malley was so furious that he decided he would let nature run its course. No more cleaning. No more maintenance. "Unstop the gears of time and let loose the forces of entropy!" he declared in a rage.


LESSON 2: REPRESENTING CHARACTER EMOTION

In the second lesson, we try to expand our suite of tools for representing character emotion, including:

  • emotional labels
  • emotional verbs
  • describing physical feelings
  • using metaphor
  • describing thoughts and behaviour
  • reflecting through the world, and
  • emotional dialogue.

We do this by rewriting snippets from texts such as The Graveyard Book, Pet, Written in the Stars, Little Women, and Tom Sawyer.

For example, here's the snippet we use to show emotion expressed through metaphor:

The pale moon shines on us as we get into the car. The ride home is silent, but it’s a heavy silence, closing in on me. I feel like I’m suffocating.  “I’m sorry,” Imran says once we’re inside the house. His hands are in his pockets. His face is stained with tears.

And here is one of the worked examples:

The torchlights ruffle in the night breeze and cast shadows that make it hard for Mizune to read Carlo’s eyes. She is tuned tight as a harp string; she will sound a note as soon as she is plucked.  “What are you waiting for?” calls Carlo, playing to the village spectators. He puffs his chest and holds his spear out wide, preening.

The lessons ends with an open-ended checkpoint piece based on Aisha Saeed's Written in the Stars in which once character tries to figure out what another character is thinking and feeling.

LESSON 3: EVOKING EMOTION IN THE READER

Finally, the hardest skill of all: how do you write narrative that evokes emotion in the reader?

Students begin by reflecting on their emotional responses to a series of photos and paintings.

Comparison of a gloomy post-apocalyptic tower with an adorable Tokyo neighbourhood store

We establish four dimensions of reader emotion:

  • Interest
  • Mood
  • Empathy
  • Contrasting emotion

And we analyse how a range of snippets (from sources such as Neverwhere, Rocket Boys, The House on Mango Street, Furia, and Watership Down) perform on these dimensions:

  • What gets our attention?
  • What creates the atmosphere?
  • How do the characters feel?
  • Do we as readers feel emotions beyond what the characters feel?

For example, this mood-setting description from Neverwhere:

The roof was rotten, and rain dripped through the empty hospital’s interior, spreading damp and decay through the building. The hospital was ranged around a central well, which let in a certain amount of gray and unfriendly light.

The lesson ends with a challenging piece of writing.

Students are asked to evoke emotion in the reader by describing a scene in which a character who has been suffering is cared for by another.

To scaffold the checkpoint, we compare Harry grieving Cedric's death in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with Hazel's death in Watership Down.

We focus in particular on the effect of straining to describe emotion vs the power of understatement.

For example, this passage in Harry Potter:

The full weight of everything he had seen that night seemed to fall in upon him as Mrs Weasley held him to her. His mother’s face, his father’s voice, the sight of Cedric, dead on the ground, all started spinning in his head until he could hardly bear it, until he was screwing up his face against the howl of misery fighting to get out of him.

Compared to this passage in Watership Down:

It seemed to Hazel that he would not be needing his body anymore, so he left it lying on the edge of the ditch, but stopped for a moment to watch his rabbits and to try to get used to the extraordinary feeling that strength and speed were flowing inexhaustibly out of him into their sleek young bodies and healthy senses.

And this fragment from the worked example:

The man walked Daniel along the drive towards a car which already had the door open. Neighbours had all come out and were standing around some undefined perimeter, watching with horror. One lady had her hand on her mouth. Daniel knew that behind him they could see the bedroom window, lit from within, and that in the glowing curtain would be silhouettes of police, bending and rising.  Flowing between the neighbours and the house he felt a deep current, and now he was in it, and his knees buckled.

Why go so deep on one topic?

It's not really one topic because emotion touches on cause and effect, conflict, contrast, point of view, goals, poetic devices, and more.

Emotion is essential to effective narrative. Character emotions give meaning to events, and we read stories in order to have emotional experiences—even if our only emotion is interest.

Finally, emotion is a fascinating topic in its own right: why do we do what we do and feel the way we feel? And how do elements of art work together to make us feel particular emotions?

So yes, it's a deep dive but one that's worth the effort, and there's more to come.

Next up: character goals and motivations!

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