Where are the characters in this snippet?
They're not just at a beach. They're at a bleak little beach. At the bleakest spot. On the whole bleak island.
They were standing on a bleak little beach at the bleakest spot on the whole bleak island.
Here's an example of this same pattern, written as if it were set in Candyland.
Henrietta was swimming in a warm chocolate lake deep inside the fairy floss forest at the bottom of Honeycomb Mountain.
Do you notice how the original snippet repeated the word bleak? Maybe our example could repeat the word chocolate to create the same effect. Let's change it.
Henrietta was swimming in a warm chocolate lake at the bottom a hot chocolate volcano in the middle of a raspberry chocolate island.
Where are these critters?
Jessica M. Gibson
