Bushes bent and broke

Time to wrap the description up.

The first part gives small details of how the environment is affected, using Colin Thiele’s two word description technique, both with alliteration to draw attention to the mood of the storm.

The second part is a character topper. Even Mr Percival, a wild animal, gives up and retreats inside. The storm is too much. It’s an ending that brings the story back to the characters.

The boobyalla bushes bent and broke. The humpy shivered and shook. Even Mr Percival had to go right inside or risk being blown away.

Storm Boy(1963)

As mentioned in another lesson in this series, it’s a technique in writing when words close to each other deliberately start with the same sound.

‘bent and broke’
‘shivered and shook’

Alliteration draws your readers' attention to a particular section of text. It creates a rhythm or a mood.

Here are some examples.

The black cat sulked and slept. Amelia coughed and cursed. She retreated, withdrawing to her mattress, even giving up her treasure hunting to protect her body from sun and smoke.

Street lights twitched and shorted. Parked cars floated and spun. Xavier had to watch it all from his bedroom window because the police didn’t want spectators or looters.

Write your own variation.

Observing and describing in Storm Boy 5: Describing the weather

Bushes bent and broke