High-concept storytelling in Gone 3: Ramping up

Waiting to stampede

The tension builds to its peak now.

The hall was as full of kids as it would have been during a class change. But people weren’t rushing to their next class, or playing around, or spinning the locks on their lockers. There was no direction. People just stood there, like a herd of cattle waiting to stampede.

Gone(2008)

‘Like a herd of cattle waiting to stampede’ is a particularly effective descriptor. The event could have dangerous consequences. Panic is building. Everything hangs in the balance.

But notice that the situation doesn’t explode? The writer wants to let the tension hang there and continue it to the end of the chapter.

Can you find the same pattern in these examples?

The supermarket was pretty full for a Tuesday afternoon. But, in the darkness, it sounded very different. No one was walking around, no trolleys were clattering, no beeping registers. Just muttering and boring supermarket music playing everywhere. It didn’t sound like that was going to last for much longer - it felt like rush hour was about to start.

There was something strangely comforting about everyone being out at once like this. It was like a block party. But everyone’s panic was starting to feed off each other. They were all bumping into each other, clutching at themselves, eyes rolling, babbling nonsense. And while everyone was freaking out, nobody was figuring out what was going on.

Write your own variation.
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