Seeing inside them

When we're telling a story in third person, we don't have to limit ourselves to describing their physical, observable actions.

We can also describe their inner world of thoughts and feelings.

Take this snippet, for example:

Marcel was thinking about the strange little girl when he entered the kitchen with Dominic, and even after Mrs Timmins had given him his first job. "Robert, would you take those jugs of milk into the dining room?" she asked.

Hearing that false name made him hesitate, but he wasn't sure what to do about it yet. Dominic was carrying a tray laden with freshly baked bread and the aroma reminded him of how hungry he was. He followed Dominic into the dining hall, where other children were already busy setting out plates and arranging a motley assortment of chairs around the long table. He looked for the girl among them but couldn't see her. Had he imagined the whole thing?

The Book of Lies(2004)

This snippet describes action, context, and perception, but it also describes thoughts and feelings.

However, here's something important: notice that it only describes the internal thoughts and feelings for one character only. (We see inside Marcel; we don't see inside Mrs Timmins or Dominic.)

We call this character the point of view character.

Often the point of view character is the main character in the story, but not always!

Sometimes the point of view character observes the main character as they go through the story.

There is a whole Writelike lesson on this topic, but here are some ways we can represent thoughts and feelings:

Labelling emotions (they felt sad).
Describing physical sensations (a tightness in the chest).
Describing thoughts as a process (they remembered the threat).
Internal speech (that didn't sound good).

You'll see examples of all these in the snippets on this page.

Here are a couple of examples that use third person limited point of view, but they also capture character thoughts and feelings.

Adjouembe really didn't want to make this call. He rotated twice in his desk chair. Stood up and stretched. Tried to check the internet but the good sites were blocked. It wasn't lunchtime yet.

He picked up the phone.

The problem was this client was weird. Although he hadn't told anyone, Adjouembe was convinced the dude was a supervillain. Like a Dr Evil type. Volcano lair, henchmen, the whole bit. But absolutely hopeless about paying his bills.

Actually he had mentioned it to someone: Austen, his supervisor. But Austen had blown him off. "It's none of our business, Djoue," he'd said. "We just gotta make sure he settles his account before the FBI or the CIA or the NSA get him."

Casey was wondering if she should pack it in when she heard the alert whistle from the shore. She looked over her shoulder calmly, almost lazily. She felt completely relaxed. The warm sun, the bobbing waves. She was at home.

So there was no way that whistle was for her.

The lifeguards were waving. A couple were dragging their inflatable boat out of its little shelter.

A rescue, Casey thought. Someone's in a rip.

But then she saw they were ushering swimmers into shore, even the one's at the water line. That was odd.

A voice buzzed onto the loudspeaker. One of those salt-cracked lifelong lifeguard voices. "Ah… attention swimmers. We've sighted what we believe might be a shark. There is no need to panic, but for your own safety, please return to shore. That includes you, surfers. I repeat, we have a shark."

This is called third person limited subjective point of view:

Limited, because it still follows one character.
Subjective, because it lets the narrator describe the character's subjective inner experiences as if they could go 'inside' the character.

graphic showing narrator looking at elf character. The elf is imagining himself having smooth, luscious hair with the help of shampoo.

For the next writing exercise, we've copied your previous response to the textbox below.

You can choose to either revise it and incorporate thoughts and feelings, or you can delete the text and write something new.

(Note: You're just editing/deleting the text in this specific textbox. It doesn't affect the textbox on the other page.)

Write a snippet using third person limited subjective, using as many elements as you can. You can rework this text from your previous response, or write something new.

This is the probably the most common point of view in narrative. It has a range of benefits:

It helps the audience identify with one character.
It lets the narrator describe all dimensions of that character's experience.
It leaves the narrator free to have a different perspective to the point of view character.

There are no downsides to this point of view, but other points of view can create specific effects that this one can't. For example:

The story can't be told in the point of view character's voice (that requires first person).
Having total knowledge the point of view character can reduce the element of mystery or surprise (which can be exploited in third person limited).

But all in all, third person limited subjective is probably the most flexible and popular of the point of view options, and should probably be your default choice.

We've seen how in third person point of view, we basically follow a main character, see what they see, even peer into their thoughts.

But how exactly do we describe other characters in this world if we're so tightly bound to the point of view character?

The answer is all about the point of view character's perception.

Point of view

Seeing inside them