“Seeyaz.”

What’s new in this snippet?

"Seeyaz." That's Dad going. He revs the ute up. He's in a hurry, going to town for Mr Cherry.

That Eye, the Sky(1986)

Victim dialogue: The victim says goodbye.

Action 1 & 2: The victim begins their departure.

Judgment & Expansion: The narrator has an opinion about what the victim is about to do, which is expanded slightly.

Notice this piece of dialogue is phonetic, spelling a specific pronunciation: not see you, but seeyaz. The sound tells us something about the culture and background of the victim (Australians will recognise it as casual, regional, working class.)

What flavour can you capture with a single word dialogue?

“Sawa.” That’s Imani kicking the door open. She backs out holding the bike on one wheel. She’s in a good mood, going to the Hilton.

“Cheerio!” That’s Grandma saying goodbye. She climbs into the buggy. She has a long journey, through the woods to the village on the other side.

Write your variation here.

First person in That Eye, the Sky 1: Saying goodbye