Observant kid

When you look closely at the people around you, it can be quite interesting when you describe them in detail. In this snippet, our narrator observes a mysterious girl who was new to the school.

He chooses three details and elaborates on each of them to show you why she’s different from the others. You get a sense that, the longer the elaboration, the more he is trying to process what he’s seeing.

And then I saw her. At lunch. She wore an off-white dress so long it covered her shoes. It had ruffles around the neck and cuffs and looked like it could have been her great-grandmother's wedding gown. Her hair was the color of sand. It fell to her shoulders. Something was strapped across her back, but it wasn't a book bag. At first I thought it was a miniature guitar. I found out later it was a ukulele.

Stargirl(2000)

And then I saw him. In maths. His head was on the desk so peacefully it looked like the desk was as soft as a pillow. His eyes were shut and he was smiling like he was having the best dream. He looked okay. It didn’t look like he was sleeping off a rough day or anything. He was holding his pencil in a writing position, but he wasn’t writing. At first I thought maybe he was just resting his eyes and would get up when there were notes to take. Then I heard him gently snore.

Write an observation based on the picture. Write from a narrator’s point of view. Describe a few features and elaborate on each.

Everyday Life Genre (Middle Years)