Change, cause & effect

Why do they get demerits?

In this snippet from Maile Meloy's magical period mystery, The Apothecary, Benjamin is trolling a bunch of students in the school lunch hall about Nazi rockets and a potential atom bomb strike (the story is set in London just after World War II).

The lunch lady doesn't like him scaring everyone, so she keeps reacting to his provocation:

The sandy-haired boy leaned toward her, across the lunch table. "I wasn't in the country," he said. "I was here. And we both know that these tables would have done nothing against those bombs—not the V-1, not the V-2, not even the smaller ones dropped by planes."

The lunch lady frowned. "I'll be forced to give you a demerit, Benjamin."

"But this isn't even a V-2 we're talking about," he said. "This is an atom bomb. When it comes, not even the basement shelters will save us. We'll all be incinerated, the whole city. Our flesh will burn, then we'll turn to ash."

The woman had lost the color in her face, but her voice still had its commanding ring. "Two demerits!"

The Apothecary(2011)

Again, no connectors between the cause and effect.

We infer the relationship because we understand how power struggles between adults and kids tend to work.

And we can change the cause or effect to completely change the scene:

Elena looked at the conference buffet. It was pretty unappetising. She grabbed two semi-appealing muffins.

The lunch lady frowned. "I'll be forced to give you a demerit, Elena."

"Are you kidding?" said Elena. "You can't do that. For the price my lab paid for me to come here, we should be getting gold-flaked donuts."

The woman had lost the color in her face, but her voice still had its commanding ring. "Two demerits!"

The steel gray-haired man leaned toward her, across the conference table. "I wasn't in the country," he said. "I was here. And we both know that these tables would have done nothing against those bombs—not the V-1, not the V-2, not even the smaller ones dropped by planes."

Elena glanced around. The people around her were nodding and murmuring.

"But this isn't even a V-2 we're talking about," he said. "This is an atom bomb. When it comes, not even the basement shelters will save us. We'll all be incinerated, the whole city. Our flesh will burn, then we'll turn to ash."

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I think I'm in the wrong room." And she dashed past the sign that said "Modern history" and dived through the door marked "Microplastics".

Copy the snippet into the textbox below, then change either the cause or the effect:

The sandy-haired boy leaned toward her, across the lunch table. "I wasn't in the country," he said. "I was here. And we both know that these tables would have done nothing against those bombs—not the V-1, not the V-2, not even the smaller ones dropped by planes."

The lunch lady frowned. "I'll be forced to give you a demerit, Benjamin."

"But this isn't even a V-2 we're talking about," he said. "This is an atom bomb. When it comes, not even the basement shelters will save us. We'll all be incinerated, the whole city. Our flesh will burn, then we'll turn to ash."

The woman had lost the color in her face, but her voice still had its commanding ring. "Two demerits!"

Write your version here.
Previous page