Inserting the character

Now that the groundwork has been laid, it’s time to insert our character into the scene. They will take the place of the reader as they explore; it’s a new experience for both the character and the audience, so we can use them to tell the reader how it feels.

It was a relief to get going. After everything Lucky had been through, it felt good to breathe fresh air again; to feel wind on his skin, and sunlight on his face. He drank in the sights and sounds eagerly, relishing his first new world.

The first line here sets the tone for the rest of this section: what is the character’s state of mind as they enter the new environment?  Then, how does it feel in contrast to where they’ve just been? Finally, how do they react to it all?

Let’s explore some different responses in the examples below:

It was exciting just to be standing there. The captain had requested this meal especially cooked, a tradition she indulged in before a journey this long, and Biff jumped at the chance to stand where it all mattered; to feel the excitement, the trepidation, the importance of being on the bridge of a starship. He savoured it all, knowing the moment may never happen again.

This planet made Vijay nervous. For all the eerie stillness up here in space, the beast below was a planet-sized hurricane, one of the most violent in the universe. Nobody had even managed to get a sensor down to the core, much less a person. The space elevator wasn’t tethered to the planet at all; its base was just another giant black disc orbiting lower down inside the atmosphere. The whole setup was bananas. As she walked to the shuttle, the non-robotic parts of Vijay felt queasy, her stomach squirmed and her skin prickled with sweat. She rode the shuttle to the upstation like she was being ferried across the abyss.

So far, so fantastic. A security position was hard to get and Jola had only just managed to qualify, but she managed it, so who cared? The water flowed fresh in her gills and there wasn’t another of her fellow amphibs as far as the eye could see. The space and peace Jola felt was intoxicating.

Write your own variation here.