Observing and describing in Storm Boy 1: Describing a place

Between the Coorong and the sea

The description of Storm Boy’s world starts with big picture location details that are specific and vague at the same time. This is because the writer isn’t just describing the landscape, they’re trying to make you feel a certain way about it.

Have a read.

Storm Boy lived between the Coorong and the sea. His home was the long, long snout of sandhill and scrub that curves away south-eastwards from the Murray mouth. 

Storm Boy(1963)

‘The Coorong’ and ‘the Murray mouth’ are specific places, but even if you don’t know where they are (it’s a real place—look it up) it doesn’t matter—you still get the sense that Storm Boy lives in a wild, isolated part of the world.

To start your passage, you’ll need to think of a location.

Colin Thiele is trying to make you feel a certain way about Storm Boy’s home. A very quick, single sentence summary could be:

  • Storm Boy lives on a beach that’s wild and isolated.

He then uses details about the location’s environment to help convey that feeling.

So, to start your passage, how you you want your readers to feel about your character’s home? Here are some examples:

  • Amelia lives in a dead end city street that’s ugly and forgotten. 
  • Jamal lives in a rainforest village that’s beautiful and dangerous. 
  • Druis lives on a spaceship that’s high tech and boring. 

Make your own combination to use as a story starter. 

  •                 lives on a                 that’s                 and                .

If you’re thinking of a real place, how would you describe it using this pattern?

Colin Thiele talks about a specific place and would have done a huge amount of research into the Coorong and Ninety Mile Beach to help him describe the world and write the story. 

You’re only writing a small passage, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get help, too. 

  • Use a website like Google Maps to choose a location
  • Use satellite view and look at the region. What details could you use to describe it?
  • Zoom in to a street view if it’s available.  What details could you use to describe that?

One last thing—you can choose to use specific place names like Colin has, you can use a real place but use made up names, or you can use no names at all. It’s up to you!

Look closely at the snippet. Notice the pointers Thiele uses:
 

  • the Coorong and the sea.
  • the long, long snout of sandhill and scrub
  • the Murray mouth

 
Notice how he doesn’t say “a long, long snout of sandhill and scrub” and he doesn’t introduce names by saying “the mouth of a river called the Murray”.
 
He avoids a and he uses the—see what happens if you try the same thing. You’ll find it gives the description a kind of timeless, mythic quality. Like the place you’re describing has always been there, will always be there.

Here are some examples:

Amelia lived at the edge of the city in the middle of a disused industrial zone. She slept on her favourite mattress in an empty factory in a tiny dead end street almost directly beneath the Southern Downs bypass.

Xavier lived between the train tracks and the wide blue ocean. His family home backed onto the marshland along the north side of the creek where the Boondall wetlands drain into the sea.

Write your own variation.
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