Introduction

In the previous lessons, it’s been a lot of talking, observing and judging. We have a hardboiled narrator, a detective agency needing work, an intriguing client that needs help, and a mysterious job that is probably more than it seems. It’s time for a little dramatic action!

Have a read.

It was then that a car in the street backfired. The dwarf seemed to evaporate. One moment he was standing beside the desk. The next he was crouching beneath it, one hand inside his jacket. And somehow I knew that his finger wasn’t wrapped round another bundle of money. For about thirty seconds nobody moved. Then Naples slid across to the window, standing to one side so that he could look out without being seen. He had to stand on tiptoe to do it, his hands perched on the sill, the side of his face pressed against the glass. When he turned around, he left a damp circle on the window. Hair oil and sweat.

The Falcon's Malteser(2004)

Did you notice that, in the end, the threat was not an actual threat? Our client is jumpy, though; a car backfiring is all it takes to have a pretty strong reaction for someone who wants an envelope kept safe.

Imagine yourself in the role of the detective. What do you think is going on?

The passage you write is going to need a little planning, especially if you’re continuing the story you’ve told in previous lessons in this series.

What would be a threat to your client that fits the story you’ve told so far?
What would be something that matches this threat but isn’t an actual threat (for example, a car backfiring = a gunshot)?
What’s a good client reaction that your narrator can observe and interpret (for example, ‘hand in jacket’ = ‘going for his gun’)?

Detective comedy 4: Some action!