What... like in a bank?

Your detective isn’t going to let a simple explanation of a job slide. They’ll have questions. 


The detective in The Falcon’s Malteser is a bit thick (the narrator’s words), so his questions are not particularly helpful.

“Deposit?” Herbert repeated quite unnecessarily. The dwarf might have had a thick accent, but it certainly wasn’t as thick as my brother. “You mean… like in a bank?” he continued, brilliantly.

Your detective’s personality is up to you, but this snippet is a good opportunity to show some of it. As we’ve mentioned in other lessons, if the narrator of your story is the detective themselves, make it a self judgment—maybe they’re thinking about what they’ve just said.

Can you see some of each detective's personality in these examples?

“Proof?” Fliss repeated, looking at the drive with an expression of disgust. My guess was that she was starting to regret not leaving Jane Doe for me to deal with. “What kind of proof, exactly?”

“Look into something?” I drawled. I was trying to sound laid back, but I just sounded drunk. “Looking is my middle name. What something should I look into?” I said, like an idiot.

Write your own variation.