He swallowed hard

Remember how, earlier, we were talking about a simple job with complications? Those complications are now hinted at.

“For how long?”

Now the dwarf’s eyes darted across to the window. He swallowed hard and loosened his bow tie. I could see that he was scared of something or somebody in the street outside. Either that or he had a fear of storm windows.

The Falcon's Malteser(2004)

It’s another detective story trope: a question that makes the client give away more than they wanted. They might give an emotional reaction that gives away their true feelings, they might let something slip, or they might just give up pretending and tell the truth.

Nervous client

As a reader, we know that the narrator’s first theory is probably right and the second one is for laughs. It’s the sarcastic joke of a hardboiled character.

Check these examples.

“Out of your life? Whatever is on this drive has… affected you in some way?”

Jane crumpled into her seat, deflated, her shoulders shaking. She sniffed, went to wipe her nose, found she couldn’t with the mask on, and took it off with an air of defeat. The face we saw did not match the rest of her youthful appearance; it was the face of someone easily in their 90s. Either that or her head had spent most of its time in a solarium.

“A few punches where?”

The big man cocked his ear towards the TV room. He listened carefully, sitting very still. Obviously it was important to him that anyone within earshot was watching Pacific Palisades. Or he wanted to know if Jordan had woken from her coma.

Write your own variation.

Detective comedy 3: Getting the job