We all have a mental model for how the world works.
Every day, we get up and do A, expecting B, then we do C, expecting D. For example, we turn on a tap, expecting water, then we give someone a compliment, expecting them to be pleased.
Those expectations form part of our mental model of the world, and most of the time the world conforms to our model.
But when we do A and then get K—for instance, we work hard, but then we're punished—we become confused: what's going on?
Sometimes we learn something new and adjust our mental model of the world. But sometimes we can't figure out what's going on, and we experience two things:
- An internal struggle as we process our confusion (often also experiencing sadness or anger).
- Additional confrontations as we stumble about making mistakes because we don't understand how the world works.