Memoir Basics 1: What's in a memoir?

Memoir opener

Let’s look at the opener again for The Glass Castle, but this time from a structure point of view.

I was sitting in a taxi, wondering if I had overdressed for the evening, when I looked out the window and saw Mom rooting through a Dumpster. It was just after dark. A blustery March wind whipped the steam coming out of the manholes, and people hurried along the sidewalks with their collars turned up. I was stuck in traffic two blocks from the party where I was heading.

The Glass Castle(2005)

In this snippet, the three parts that will show your themes are.

  • Situation - this should show what’s normal. 
  • Development - this shows what’s not normal. 
  • Reaction - this shows how you deal with what’s not normal. 

The themes will emerge naturally from the way you contrast:

  • Situation vs Development – This could be becoming suddenly rich, suddenly poor, having a new school, new family, or losing someone or something special. Whatever happens, this change forms the building blocks of your story. 
  • Development vs Reaction – How all the characters react to this development over the course of the story will show the main themes. Acceptance, adjustment, compassion, discrimination, greed, and leadership are some examples. In many stories, the protagonist will react poorly at first but then, over the course of the story, change for the better. 

This pattern loops: your reaction will create a new situation, which then develops until it triggers a new reaction, and so on.

A good story (whether it’s a memoir or fiction) will use those loops to develop and resolve the themes introduced at the start.

In this case, it’s the narrator’s lack of reaction that's the reaction.

She’s just seen her mother dumpster diving on a cold city street. Does she gasp in shock? Does she yell, "Stop the cab!" and leap out to her mother’s aid?  Nope.

The first thing she does is consider her own situation (cab, party). Why she reacts that way is covered in the story.

Here are some other examples, based on the first snippet. Again, see if you can predict what themes might be covered if they were the opener to a memoir.

I was floating in our family pool, wondering where I should Uber lunch from today, when I smelt smoke. I twisted to see bright flames pouring out of my bedroom window. Mum and Dad were at work, my phone was dead, and I was alone. My dog jumped about the front lawn, barking endlessly at the flames as they quickly spread to the top story. I just stood dripping in my swimmers watching my whole life disappear like a useless idiot as the fire trucks arrived.

We think this story could be about:

  • Adjusting to a new life
  • Coming of age
  • Dealing with loss
  • Determination
  • Poverty
  • Wealth

I was five years old and sitting in the waiting room, wondering if I could talk my dad into another chocolate bar from the machine, when the doctor came out and said I had a sister. It was midday. My mountain of a father crumbled into a chair sobbing in relief as the doctor explained to him that my mum and the baby were fighters, but things were touch and go and they would need a lot of care—possibly for the rest of their lives. All of that was ahead of me but, at the time, all I could focus on was the word ‘sister’.

We think this story could be about:

  • Accepting change
  • Adjusting to a new life
  • Compassion
  • Determination
  • Parenthood

Okay, it’s your turn to write a memoir opener. It might be based on your own experience, or you might be inventing the story.

We recommend you think about it in this order before you write it down.

  1. Decide on your big development first. 
  2. Then think about your reaction. How can you hint at the future story?
  3. The situation at the start of your opener should show how game-changing the development is - and how ill-prepared you are. How can you tweak it to give the development and the reaction impact? 
  • I’m going to a fancy party 
    when I see my mum dumpster diving 
    but ​I think about my situation before hers.
     
  • I’m relaxing in my pool 
    when the house catches on fire 
    but I can’t help and so feel useless.
     
  • I’m thinking about eating chocolate
    when I’m told I have a new sister 
    but I don’t listen to the fact that she needs care.
Write your memoir opener. Show a situation, add a big development, and give a reaction that hints at what the overall story is.
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