Friendly troll texting

Sometimes friends and family tease and troll each other via text. The friendly text troll has no real meanness behind it. The point is just to irritate a friend or loved one enough that they snap.

Because this is a text message, we use fragments and optional punctuation and grammar.

Here is the example snippet as you would see it on a phone:

Text conversation

Here is the snippet without the formatting, written like a script:

Papa: Dinner 20 mins.

Me: what is dinner

Papa: Veal and rice. It looks good.

Me: Will it poison me?

Papa: Let’s find out.

Me: If I ever die, and the police are involved… You’ll be the first one they question with this attitude.

Papa: I’ll risk it.

Hunters in the snow (Winter)

Because this is a writing exercise (rather than texting your Dad), you’ll have to write both sides of the conversation.

Me: home from hunt. Where u?

Mum: Skating. Could you pick up some eggs on your way home dear? 

Me: really tired mum

Mum: Oh. We’re out of flour too. Two bags should be enough. 

Me: been hunting for 3 days solid mum.

Mum: And those sausages I like! You know the ones. Get ten.

Me: I HAVE BEEN HUNTING IN THE FOREST FOR DAYS!!! I AM COLD AND I AM TIRED AND WOULD LIKE TO SLEEP IN MY BED TILL TOMORROW. ILL DO IT LATER OK?

Mum: Okay. I understand.

Mum: If you’re going to miss dinner make it six sausages, then.

Write a friendly banter/trolling text conversation. What could be happening in the context of this picture? (And if you want some appropriate names, Google "16th Century Flemish names".)