Checkpoint

Let's wrap up the lesson by creating a checkpoint piece. You can either revise and polish your work from this lesson (we’ve pasted it below) or you can write something completely new. (Your teacher may have a preference).

Even though the passage follows a basic action-reaction pattern, remember to change up the length and structure of each sentence to keep things interesting for your readers.

The variations used in the passage from Storm Boy were:

Action, reaction
Action, reaction, expansion 1, expansion 2
Action, expansion 1, expansion 2, reaction, expansion 1, expansion 2
Action, reaction, expansion 1, expansion 2, simile/metaphor
Action, reaction, expansion 1, expansion 2, location

You can try your own variations too—think about how you can add interesting details and descriptions to expand on the basic structure of 'Character 1 does this, Character 2 reacts by doing that.'

Wherever Storm Boy went, Mr Percival followed. If he collected shells along the beach, Mr Percival went with him, either waddling importantly along at his heels or flying slowly above him in wide circles. If Storm Boy went swimming, or sliding down the sandhills, or playing on the sand, Mr Percival found a good spot nearby and perched there heavily to watch and wait until it was over. If Storm Boy went fishing or rowing on the Coorong, Mr Percival cruised joyously round him with his neck bent back and his chest thrust forward like a dragon ship sailing calmly in a sea of air. Whenever he saw Storm Boy anchor the boat he came gliding in with a long, skimming splash, shook his wings into place, and bobbed serenely on the ripples a few yards away.

Storm Boy(1963)

Here is your work from this lesson. You can either revise and polish it, or you can write something new. (Ask your teacher if they have a preference.)

ARCHIVED 220921 Observing and describing in Storm Boy 4: Describing a relation